Three years ago, as of September, I took a hard right turn into singleness. I don’t often write about my singleness because it is a fact of my life (like where I currently live) rather then solely my identity. But as I was reminiscing and rereading journal entries from the last few years, I felt the desire to share.
Have you ever found your life in a season that you didn’t expect to be in? Three years ago, I was planning and dreaming about my wedding and married life. In the span of two hours, in a cute little coffee shop, my dreams and plans all died. Well, in the moment they felt like death. The job I had taken the month before was all that stretched before me in those minutes afterwards. The job was supposed to be for a year at most; it was the next step to getting us closer to the wedding. Now, I wasn’t even sure what the future was going to hold.
Over the next several months, my floor and the fetal position became very comfortable places for me. It was my go to place to talk with the Lord. I wasn’t angry with Him, I was just heartbroken. The only thing I knew to do was give Him the broken pieces of my heart. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3.
I had to learn to dream and hope again. I had to seek out and understand His heart. I had to allow His plans to become my plans. “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
I learned what true Biblical community looks like. The Lord was gracious and not only showed me His great love, but also the people He had placed in my life to walk that season with me. They were the ones who prayed for and with me. They were the ones that helped distract me. They were the ones that just sat with me. They were the ones that spoke truth into my life. “So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.” 1 Thessalonians 2:8.
Over these last three years, I’ve learned about His joy and how deep and needed it is! “You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound.” Psalm 4:7. I’ve learned that His plans are so much better then anything I can come up with. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher then your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9.
How rich the last three years have been! Even though it was not the path I expected or even would have chosen, I am thankful for it. I have been blessed to see the Lord move in countless student’s lives. He’s allowed me to be front row center to see Him at work. He’s challenged and grown me in ways I didn’t even realize I could. I more fully understand Paul’s statement in Philippians 4:11-13, “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
My prayer for you? That regardless of what season you are currently in, whether self-imposed or a complete surprise, your understanding of who the Lord is would grow deeper and clearer. And that His joy, not the world’s, would fill every aspect of your life. Embrace the season.