I know my title is odd, but had this thought yesterday: I’m actually thankful that my body is broken.
I’ve had several people encourage me to pray for healing from my autoimmune disorder. While I do feel called to ask Him for my body to get healthy, I don’t feel the nudging to pray for the Lord to take it away. Why?
Before I dive into all of that, I want to clearly state that I completely 100 percent believe that God can restore my body in an instant. He is The Healer and I know that someday in heaven I’ll have a beautifully restored, completely healed body.
So here’s the difference between healed and healthy. Healthy means my body is functioning as well as it can this side of heaven. I’m relying on His wisdom to care for this temple, my body. This includes eating to restore health, drinking lots of water, getting enough sleep, listening to the needs of my body, and when required, taking supplements and medicine. This has required me to sacrifice to care for, and be a good steward of, the body the Lord has given me.
In years past, I’ve not always taken the best care of myself. Yesterday, as I was mulling over this, I realized that if the Lord healed me of my autoimmune right now, I’d immediately go out and buy all the comfort food (macaroni, pizza, soda, chips, etc.) that I know isn’t healthy for my body. I’d be satisfying my appetite.
Over the last six months, I’ve realized that I’m called to more! I’m called to push through my earthly desires (appetite) and honor Him. I want to worship Him through my choices, and I’m thankful that He has allowed my body to break so that I choose His way. My autoimmune pushes me to rely more on Him and find Him in the midst of the brokenness.
I woke up singing a childhood song this morning by Matt Brouwer. I thought it perfectly fit what’s been rolling around my brain this weekend. May He be glorified in the choices that I make.
Father, I adore You, Lay my life before You, How I love You
Jesus, I adore You, Lay my life before You, How I love you
Spirit, I adore You, Lay my life before You, How I love you